Bottles For Rain

(Hello all! You, yes you, get to have yourselves a little preview of what is to come. That's right. A novel. It's brewin', folks! Let me know what you think of the excerpt :))

Her room was blue. Not a light blue, or even a dark blue. It was more of a medium blue...a blue that looked right when it rained. All of the furniture in her room was chestnut, deep brown and never cluttered. She'd certainly picked up fervent cleaning habits from Grandma, definitely from Grandma, and even in her own sanctuary, spotlessness was effortlessly enforced. Well...that's not entirely true. The bottles were a bit mad, and there was a method to the madness. But more on that later.

A simple, white duvet cover rested on her bed--always made, of course--and on her nightstand sat a quiet, black and white photo of Thomas. He was young and bright in the picture, and the property behind him was in full fall splendor. It was a lovely photograph, and it was easy to tell why she'd picked it to grace her bedside table.

I shouldn't have known, but I did, that inside her top drawer, she kept a lavender sachet, a few wrapped bars of white Dove soap, a small book of John Keats poems and a little photo-album she'd crafted herself--filled with pictures of Lorraine, Thomas and Lilly. I didn't ever tell anyone I knew about the pictures, but I didn't figure anyone needed to know. And I sure wasn't a person that needed to tell anyone anyway.

But, to get to my point, the main reason I ever went into Isabella's room in the first place, was to look at the bottles.

Yes, bottles. The room was filled with bottles. Not filled in any kind of unfashionable manner, but definitely filled. Is loved them. And not just any bottles, mind you. But bottles with "life" or "character" or "potential". Curvy bottles, straight bottles, little and fat bottles, tall and skinny bottles, blue, green, purple, yellow and clear bottles. Bottles were Is's favorite thing in the entire world. I didn't understand why for a long while after meeting her, but at the time, it didn't matter because the bottles were just as fun without having a reason. Long, hot afternoons of thrift-storing were what occupied our summer that year, looking for bottles. The good kind were hard to come by, and Is had specific qualifications...mostly including whether or not one "felt right" to her.

Bottles were what mattered to her. Even though I had no idea why, I still liked being a part of it. Because everything she did, she did for a reason. And to me, that was enough to keep me coming back for more.

Why kids are awesome.

I'm a kid person. A lot of people aren't, which is totally cool. But even if you don't like kids, you have to admit: the stuff they say is funny. So here are a few quotes from the lovely children in my life. (I babysit. Don't go thinking I'm a mother. I'm too young for that, peeps.) Hope it makes you laugh half as hard as I did.

1. A day with Hannah. Hannah is a weensy blonde three year old who loves the fish puzzle she got for Christmas recently. So, on this particular afternoon, and after watching The Little Mermaid for the fourth time in a row, I decided to try something new.

Me: Hannah, want to do this puzzle with me?

Hannah (wide eyed): YES.

Me: Okay! Climb up onto the chair and we'll do it on the table.

So I move the puzzle onto the table and sit down in my own chair as three-year-old Hannah tries to clamber up onto the big chair. I can see it in slow motion--her stockinged foot slips on the chair rung and BOOM, she's down.

Me: Oh no! Honey, are you okay?

Hannah (looking up at me in pain): Sigh. I think so.

Me: Are you sure?

Hannah (sighing again as she gets up): Yeah. I'm ok. I just bumped my junk.

2. Julia. Julia is just...Julia. She's awesome. She's five now. I've known her since she was about three. And she's never failed to make me laugh. (On the inside, of course. She would be astonished if she saw me actually laughing...because everything she says is very serious.)

Me: Did you have a good day at school today Jules?

Julia: Yeah. It was pwetty fun.

Me: What did you do?

Julia: We loined (learned) about Mawtin Lutha King Juniow.

Me: Ohh! Very cool. What did you learn about him?

Julia (looks up at me with a grave expression) whispers: He got shootened.

3. This one isn't mine, I admit. But it's so funny, I had to share. This is courtesy of co-worker, Verna.

Verna and her family decided to go to the zoo one bright summer day. After exploring many different exciting exhibits, her four-year-old son Ryan decided he wanted to look at the chickens.

Verna: Okay, Ryan, don't get too close to the cage, okay?

Ryan: Okay.

Ryan then proceeds to stick his hand just a teeny bit into the cage--and boom. Pecked. Pecked by a very mean looking chicken.

Verna: What did I tell you?

Ryan (who's too angry to pay attention at this point): Fuckin' chicken.......

Ahh...you could have just had the worst day ever and this would make you laugh. Kids are so refreshing. Yes, handfuls at times, but so hilarious. Love it. :)

You are great.

Sha la la la la la la la la la la tee da. YOU MYYYYY BROWN EYED GIRL! Sing it, Van Morrison. Shout out to all us Plain Janes with brown eyes.

Yes. I have brown eyes. And they are not that exciting. But I don't care. Because blue eyes are over-rated. (Which is weird coming from me, because every guy I've ever dated--including my current boyfriend of over a year--has had blue blue eyes.) And to top it all off, I even wear glasses. So people probably don't even know what my eye color is.

But really, I'm a brown eyed brunette. I don't have shining, waving yellow locks and ice blue eyes to lure men into my lair. No, I am an average dominant gene based person. AND I LIKE IT! (Not to diss on all you gorgeous recessive people who I love dearly.)

Because honestly? You are who you are. And you should love it. Because it doesn't matter if you're tall or short, fat or skinny, blonde or brunette, you're YOU. And that is pretty freakin' cool, don't you think?

So look in the mirror and be glad, today. That is my demand for January 18, 2011. At least once today, you WILL look in the mirror and say "I am awesome, beautiful, rad and I can accomplish anything I want to". You will do it. Or the blog monster will come and scold you.

Love who you are. Or you really are all the things you doubt in yourself. And to be real, you will feel so much better about who you are. No matter the mistakes you've made or how horrible you think you look, today, say "I love me."

Because you are worth it :)

G'day Mate.

Okay, so suddenly I have an obsession with Australians.

It's not like a weird fetish or anything, but I just really like listening to them talk. I've been on this Lost kick (no joke, I'm taking in about 8 episodes a day on average) and this character, Claire, has an accent and everything she says, I repeat.

Think about it. They're just really cool. They live in a beautiful country, it's WARM, there are all sorts of cool creatures like kangaroos and wallaby and koala bears (setting aside all the poisonous creatures that terrify me out of actually going there), and above all--THEY ALL TALK WITH A SUPER AWESOME ACCENT!

So I decided I'm going to acquire one. I'm off--I'm on my way to mastering an Aussie accent. Excuse me, I'm ohn mai wey to mehstering an Aoussie ekscent. G'day, mate.

To Live!

(A continuation of the previous post)

I'm having a moment.

Well, maybe more than just a moment. It's like a period of life I've shifted into. One of those times where if I'm not careful, I start doing that mild self-destruction thing...or the feeling sorry for myself thing. Not cool. Not okay with me. Ugh--felt like this before? Me too. Like, right now. So, I'm going to do some processing.

Because after all, practice what you preach...right? Riiiight. Except sometimes it's easier to write it and justify it. But living it? It's a heck of a lot harder. Now, I'm not here to make excuses, because there is a reason I write.

When I look over my blog, I realize that I write a lot of inspirational/motivational/love-yourself posts. Part of that is because I love giving the world a positive light, even if it only touches a few souls. Sometimes I write just because I need to sort my thoughts and come up with something that'll get me to my next point.

But here's what I'm here to say today (It goes with my last post--a sort of continuation. More thoughts to jam into an idea):

Live.

I heard an awesome quote in a Jane Austen movie the other day. "We are not condemned to endure our lives." I've never heard a truer line. You don't have to be miserable. You don't have to endure your life. There are times, sure, where we have to suck it up and deal with it--but the choice to be happy? It's all yours whenever you want it. So, don't condemn yourself--LIVE!

Be Free.

Okay, so the inspiration for this post is unexpected and maybe sort of unlike me. I was listening to the radio (I know you're already thinking: Nooo!) and Katy Perry's song "Firework" came on. Call me weird, but I sort of like the song. Not because I'm necessarily a huge Katy Perry fan, but I just love the message the song brings. It's so positive.

But anyway, back to the reason I'm writing. The opening line caught my attention:

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind--wanting to start again?"

YES.

Who hasn't?! I mean, man... I think we all have plastic bag moments. Sometimes I have them multiple times a day. It's just that nervous feeling where you're not sure where you're going, even if you have an idea about your life. Because ultimately, we have no idea what's going to happen to us. I've found, just as a close friend to me pointed out to me recently, every time we think we know what's in store, it completely changes. Ever noticed that? You plan on something futuristically, but it never ends up the way you expect.

Because we don't know the future. I have no idea who I'm going to meet tomorrow. Or what kind of experience will change my path in a week. It's cool--but it's also mildly scary...not knowing the future. I have to remind myself constantly not to worry about it and try to be in the moment--because I won't know the future until it's my present. And being the moment is hard, too, because not every moment can be as beautiful as a sunset, a piece of chocolate or a kiss. There are moments of boredom, anger, sadness... everything!

But that's just it. We have to live through every kind of moment, meet every kind of person, and live through every kind of experience to be who we are. It shapes us. It makes us who we are. So free your mind, expand your horizons and be whoever you want to be. Let your life define you and define your own life. Be free.

Because honestly? "Every little thing is gonna be alright." -Bob Marley

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGJuMBdaqIw

A few unnecessary funny facts.

(Karchie and Delia)

Hey, readers. I just scanned my recent posts and decided that they've been a bit too serious as of late--and I'm in a rather lovely-sort-of-funny mood. So I'm going to give you a few bits of information about my life that you might find a tad humorous.

1. I have a really fat cat. My black cat, Dash, weighs 23 pounds. He got down to 18 in the summer, but he's fat again now that it's winter. He's lying on my leg. My leg lost feeling about ten minutes ago.

2. I got a little purple unicorn eraser for Christmas--and she is so cute that I will never use her to erase with. Her name is Delia. She lives on my nightstand.

3. Today, when I was antique-store-shoping-hunting (it's a typical Saturday afternoon event), I bought the coolest watch. It has a little window where a sun and a moon rotate time-accordingly. It was only a dollar. It has already become my new prized possession.

4. Right now, I really dig Fruit Mentos. They're just really great. They've got a punch. It's a nice experience for your mouth.

5. Oh, along with Delia, I got a little sea-turtle finger puppet, who I originally named Kevin. (Yes, I have a problem with naming things--I just like to do it okay!?) But then I forgot his name was Kevin so I re-named him Archie. The poor little guy was probably so confused. Because when I remembered it was supposed to be Kevin, I already liked Archie better. So now I call him Karchie. I think it's endearing.

6. When I wanted to post something on my dad's Facebook wall today, I typed Dad into the search bar. Have you ever done that? I do it every time.

7. I totally figured out what I want to do with my life! That's a big one! Isn't that neat?

8. I played 12 rounds of Candy Land last night with my six year old pal, Sam. He won every time. I don't think it was coincidence. He kept whipping out the Ice Cream card and skipping all the way to the Candy Castle. But he loved getting to that damn castle so much I just couldn't bring myself to let him lose.

9. I drank two cups of regular coffee today. ME! I'm still talking up a storm. (Dash just started snoring. I've never heard a cat snore. This is killing me. Just a quick FYI) See, I'm not exactly a caffeine person. I don't know what came over me today. But when the lady at the restaurant asked if I'd like some coffee, I said "Heck yes!"

10. I always run out of facts by fact number 10. Like I've said before--and I'll say it again!--lists are just too fun. I should be on list probation.... Naaaaah! Well, I'm out of things to say. So I'll just leave you with a simple good night, hope you enjoyed what you read. :)

A Praise for Positivity.

I'm not going to bother leading into this one, because I'm ready to dive in right now.

You can be happy.

Life is hard. It sucks sometimes, in fact. But you want to know a secret? Life doesn't have to suck. In fact, life can be the most incredible experience, gift and accomplishment you ever witness.

The key to achieving this? Deciding to be happy.

Someone I met recently has been talking about all of this with me--as far as thoughts creating emotions go--and I find it to be really interesting. He told me about changing thought patterns and how it can really affect your actual mental well-being. It's about self talk, telling yourself what you want to feel (even if you don't truly believe it 100%).

Example. I want to be happy. (Ok, who doesn't.) Well, I want to be. So I'm going to be. And yes, there is plenty wrong in my life and plenty wrong in this whole world. But if I dwell on what isn't right around me, I will never get anywhere and I will never lead what feels like a truly satisfyingly happy life.

How? How do you change your thoughts? There are plenty of ways. My favorite is the gratitude list. I'm happy that right now I'm enjoying my warm and toasty bed. I'm thankful for the awesome song from my favorite movie's soundtrack playing on iTunes. I'm so glad I get to sleep in tomorrow. (I purposefully don't think about the fact I'm lacking in the friend department, I just spent an exhausting 6 hours babysitting a very high strung child and my sad feelings of loss.) Because where does that get me? No where. It takes me in a circle. A circle of negativity that I won't be able to get out of.

So, here is my praise for positivity. It might sound stupid, but I don't care. I'm gonna push it anyway. I'm gonna be a positivity pusher. Because life is nothing without the acknowledgement of the beautiful, simple and happy things. They're what make up for the terrible things. They're what keep us going, even if they are far off notions we one day hope to hold.

Be positive.

Be strong, be true and be yourself.

Find what matters, recognize it and cherish it.

Glimpse.

A red, steaming teapot. A slant of sunlight, glittering brightly through the tiny kitchen window. A little blue mug in my hands. A birds soft chirping on this fresh spring morning. A sigh of contentment.

A sunset just over the mountain on a summer evening. A pair of cutoffs, birks on my feet. A field, waving softly in the breeze. A laugh escaping my mouth.

Do you have mind-snap-shots? Little pieces of your past, maybe... or imagined glimpses of your future? I hope so... because I get them constantly. Sometimes they're triggered by a memory, an object, a scent. I can see almost everything: what I was (or would be) wearing, the time of year, the aura of the room, the feeling of the clouds crossing the sky. Maybe it's weird. I'm not sure if it's normal. (And sometimes I hope it just means maybe I have a photographic memory. But that's reaching for the stars a little.)

Okay, so even if this glimpsing it's a weird thing to do (almost constantly), I rather like it. I feel like I've created a little world inside my head. I can picture and feel the past, present and future simply by the beautiful pictures I've stored (or imagined) in my head. I can exist wherever I want to...I can make it up as I go, or stay in a place I've already made up. I can even relive happy moments I've already visited if I feel like it.

And sometimes, it's better than being present...because being present isn't always easy. In my own pictures, I can be whoever I want--wherever I want. So I'm gonna keep living in that world. No...I'm not insane. I think I've just found a pretty cool way to be a heck of a lot happier when things could definitely be better. And honestly? If you can picture it, you can make it happen. So grasp every glimpse, dream and goal. Because if you will it, dude, it is no dream. ;)

More on love.

You know that delightful feeling when you're surrounded in water?...It's the perfect temperature...your eyes are closed...you're just floating in the soft, peaceful warmth. How about the feeling when you bite into an amazing piece of chocolate? Just think of that silky, smooth richness that takes you over. What about that moment when you get to hug someone you love? Or when you create something beautiful? Or when you just happen to be in the perfect place to enjoy a sunset...with nothing else in the world to do other than watch the clouds change from fiery reds and oranges to kind pinks and purples.

Think of combining all of those wonderful, rare and lovely feelings...and feeling it all at once. At the very same time. Think of all the most incredible, meaningful and powerful experiences in your life that have moved you or could move you....group them all together and just think about how you would feel.

Elated. At peace. Filled with inspiration. Comfort...yet unbridled freedom. In short, wouldn't it feel amazing? Well, to me...that's what love feels like. I know I write about love a lot, but it's because I love love. And that's the closest thing I can think of as far as explaining how it feels...a combination of the most intense and breathtaking moments in my life, both lived and imagined. Not to mention it all relates back to one very special person.

And living each day with that kind of passion makes me whole. It makes life worth living. It's rare. And it's beautiful.

Some things.

Sometimes when I'm all tongue-tied (or type-tied) and can't seem to write anything worth reading, I just start making lists. It's sort of an organized, methodical tactic I use when I have weird, semi-interesting thoughts...but none of them coincide. I've been spending insane amounts of time alone lately...which has given me infinite wisdom! (Hahhh hahhhhhh.)

So. Here we go.

1. Argyle. This has no relevance to anything...but it's sort of funny in a pathetic way. Until recently, I never knew what argyle was (I know. What the heck is up with that.) I thought it was a type of fabric. It's a pattern.

2. The mystery of life. We need to stop trying to solve life and just live it instead. I don't know why we're here and I never will. Neither will you. So let's go dance and have some fun instead of trying to analyze it all.

3. Owls are IN. Like, they are happenin' right now. Everything is owls. Owl shirts, metal water bottles with owls on them, owl necklaces and earrings...owls owls owls. Where are all the whales, huh?

4. Pointillism. I don't know how artists who paint using pointillism don't kill themselves. That's too many dots. George Seurat, I commend you. Wow, buddy.

5. Tea. Is. Fabulous. Don't get me wrong here, I mean, I've loved tea since I began existing. But lately, I've been drinking like 4 cups a day. I'm addicted to this amazing black tea called Yorkshire Gold...and I fix myself a little plate of food, sit in our breakfast nook and pretend I'm English. This is sadly very very true.

6. Makin' it happen. I keep having these weird little day-dream-blurb-glimpse-thingys about my future...like little mental images where I see myself cool locations...like: a park bench in a city during the summer, reading Shakespeare and drinking an organic smoothie... or walking down the beach in a really cute dress, laughing at my cute dog who's playing the surf. These glimpses include silly things too, like what my kitchen will look like, what kind of lotion I want in my future bathroom etc. It's sort of weird but really fun. So I'm gonna keep doing it. Because I'M GONNA MAKE IT HAPPEN! Hoo-rah Shakespeare and smoothies.

7. Archie. The amount of comfort childhood possessions bring, even when you're almost in your twenties, is surprising and fantastic. Sometimes I play with them for a second and even use voices. It may be odd, but I think it's okay to be a kid for a few minutes sometimes, damnit. So my little sea turtle, Archie, and I will have a great time in moments of boredom.

8. How wide is the equator? Is that a stupid thing to ask? Because I actually want to know that.

9. Yoga=medicine=freedom=mind altering drug that's actually safe in high doses. I love yoga. You need to try it. It seriously changes your brain chemistry. All your little brain chemicals will start dancing happily and you'll feel awesome about life. Give it a whirl.

10. Lists are fun. This number 10 doesn't really count...because declaring that lists are fun as a number on a list is a total cop-out. But I'm breaking the rules because it needs to be said. Sometimes, you just gotta write about nothing because it's FUN. Most of this doesn't matter. But it's fun. So it does matter. Hah. Yay lists!

:)